I John 1:8-10/Reflection

Dear women walking in the Light,

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Is it just me, or is there something about fall that catches us unaware with old memories that we haven't encountered in awhile? Like a leaf that falls gently, but startlingly on your shoulder or hair, they come. But they come transformed. Once green and new, they are now painted and weathered, perhaps even more beautiful than when they were born. I think it's life's experiences that brings this beauty. When we are touched involuntarily by a memory of an old teacher, an old friend, or just a small, vague gesture, there is a new sweetness in the remembering that colors the memory. They stand out, these sweet moments and caring people in a life that is not always vibrant and beautiful.

This morning some of those memories alighted on me and caught me by surprise. But they shouldn't. They are simply evidence of a faithful God who is with me and has been with me, who has placed these people and blessings in my life all along. Sadly, the dark moments that they shine against are often the consequence of my own faithless self, acting against the God who never fails me. But each time I cry to him in repentance, he simply forgives! He sees me as pure and holy, made fresh and new in the clothes of Christ. How can I thank him for all he does for me? For forgiving me and taking me back each and every time?

This week I battled poorly with a cold and with the urge to doubt when so many teachers laughed at, belittled, blamed and blasphemed Christianity. I stand weak and wanting at Jesus' feet this morning. And I can only thank him in response--for the gift of trials, because they bring me low to stoop and pick up this manna he offers. Without it, I will die. I thank him for the gentle taps on the shoulder--little leaves that remind me of all the gifts he's bestowed. I have failed him and will do it again. But his light continues to shine on me, exposing my sinful self and turning me back to him again. I am praying that he will shine his light into this heart of mine (and yours), for this life is a short one. And there are so many who do not know the comfort of our faithful God. Like leaves, we are here for a time, and then we are dust (and then we're with Jesus!:). God, help us to live for you and for others.

"...if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 2 Timothy 2:13